Even the most diligent student knows that keeping your eyes on your own paper will only get you so far. For some things, you NEED to copy. That’s why, starting in 1971, Penderbrook Motors has reallocated sixty percent of our research and development budget to our Division of Outside Intelligence. With the help of our intrepid agents, Penderbrook Motors is now able to extend our circle of knowledge beyond company walls, giving us the opportunity to to collaborate with some of the greatest minds in the biz—whether they like it or not!

Dangerous, over-glamorized, and inordinately expensive, field work is to be seen as a last resort for agents of Outside Intelligence. The telephone—the greatest weapon one can wield—allows a clever agent to present their best selves at all times, regardless of their actual appearance or surroundings. Why get your hair mussed committing illegal acts when a simple call would suffice? In the (extremely rare) event that field work be deemed necessary, Director Turner will assign the task to the agent with the most seniority. No exceptions!

Crafted with care by acclaimed inventor Sebastian Cartwright, Rev Inc’s first foray into the automobile industry is bound to make a lasting impression. With its environmentally friendly engine, sleek design, and surprisingly low price tag, car aficionados from all the world over will soon remember 1976 as “the year of the FIKUS”.

Rev Inc isn’t just a company, it’s a community! During your time on the FIKUS project, you’ll be treated to luxurious private accommodations in the heart of our private island, just miles away from the scenic beaches of Tahiti*. Having trouble focusing on your work? No problem! At Rev City, you’ll be able to escape the pesky distractions of harsh sunlight, wind, and friends/family.

*Beach not accessible until project completion.

A Docillite’s mask: the world’s last remaining buffer,
From reckless ideas which might lead us to suffer.
The burden of knowledge weighs heavy on our souls,
A price we must pay to achieve our goals.
And yes, there are profits, but they’re merely a trifle,
Compared to work we must do in our deep quest to stifle.
The future is bright! Too bright to be seen, yet!
But when it’s in OUR control there’s no need to fret.
Vivat Docillio! Fortis Docillio!

Nov 21, 1971
ATTN: ALL EMPLOYEES

Despite the success of our recently implemented Outbound Research Division, the Department of Outside Intelligence will be re-introducing field work at a reduced capacity. Effective immediately, Mr. Horace Hayes will be handling all field-based recon, and, as such, will have exclusive access to the company helicopter.

I understand that many of you will be disappointed and quite frankly, bewildered, that I have elected Mr. Hayes to this position, but I implore you not to see this as a promotion. Those of you who remain in the Outbound Research Division do so BECAUSE of your commendable traits, not in spite of them.

As I have stated many times: telephone-based reconnaissance is the FUTURE of this industry. It requires intuition, a keen improvisational mind, and a deep, empathetic understanding of human behavior. Field work, on the other hand can be successfully completed by almost anyone – even a vain, feckless, unscrupulous lunkhead who insists on wearing cowboy boots in the summer.

For those of you who insist on discussing this matter with me in person, my door remains ajar.

Sincerely,
Barney Turner

Department of Outside Intelligence
August 16, 1976

RE: New Assistant

Barney,

Finally found a new girl for you. Bellows has been launching a regular charm offensive on the recruiting front, so let’s try our best to keep this one around, shall we? Her name’s Noomi Kovacs (I know!) and she’s another one of those wide-eyed government rejects your alma matter seems to constantly be churning out.

I MAY have had to fluff the job description since we weren’t getting any bites, so I’d suggest giving her a taste of what it’s like to be a “real spy” before you drown her in all that paper work. That is unless you want to start fetching your OWN lunches.

Yours,
Thornton.

P.S. Latest shipment of spirit gum came in this morning. Not sure what Horace did to go through that last batch, but please tell him to stop! If Daddy sees how much we’ve been spending on this stuff, he’s liable to start foaming at the mouth!

National Agent Bureau
Nov 10, 1966

Dear Mr. Penderbrook,

For the past ten years, Barney Turner has efficiently served as Senior Field Agent for the National Agent Bureau and it is a great honor to recommend him for the position of Director of Outside Intelligence. During his time with N.A.B., Mr. Turner proved himself to be an agent nonpareil and finding a suitable replacement for him will be a hair-splittingly difficult task. While it behooves me to inform you that Mr. Turner was dishonorably discharged from duty due to a misuse of department resources and personnel, I assure you that his actions were an aberration—a panicked reaction to a loss he was undergoing at the time—and I am confident that he has learnt greatly from his mistakes.

Sincerely,
D. Vargas